The Quotes canon
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Every quote has been curated by hand and carefully authenticated.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Black people and police2 quotes
Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000I’m not saying I don’t like police. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m just scared of 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we want to call them too. Somebody broke into my house once. This is a good time to call 'em. But I didn't, I don’t know, mm-mm. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Happiness2 quotes
I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Men and women2 quotes
If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy. — Dave Chappelle · 2000A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. — Marjorie Rawlings · 1938Accumulation of wealth1 quote
The more money an American accumulates the less interesting he himself becomes. — Gore Vidal · 1972American Presidency1 quote
I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Black experience1 quote
Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Black president1 quote
I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Books1 quote
Sometimes I think of the books I'll never read that would have changed my life. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Brinkmanship1 quote
You have to take chances for peace, just as you must take chances in war... The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art. If you try to run away from it, if you are scared to go to the brink, you are lost. — John Foster Dulles · 1956Chastity1 quote
If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Chivalry is dead1 quote
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Criminal law1 quote
Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Downsides of wealth1 quote
The more money an American accumulates the less interesting he himself becomes. — Gore Vidal · 1972Envy1 quote
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. — Gore Vidal · 1973FOMO1 quote
Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Friends1 quote
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. — Gore Vidal · 1973Friendship1 quote
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. — Gore Vidal · 1973Gender relations1 quote
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Gentrification1 quote
New white people. You can’t scare these white people. I tried. Roll up on 'em: BOO! "What the hell is wrong with you? Those days are over." — Dave Chappelle · 2000History1 quote
John F. Kennedy. Remember him? He fucked Marilyn Monroe. Matter of fact, him and his brother Bobby fucked Marilyn Monroe. And history doesn’t talk about that much. You know why history doesn’t talk about that much? Because those two pages in history are stuck together. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Living life to the fullest1 quote
You gotta make life interesting like that cause the shit is flimsy. Life is flimsy. You…you think you’re gonna live, but ain’t nobody gon’ live forever. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Missed opportunities1 quote
Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Music1 quote
Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one. — Duke Ellington · 1973Overthinking1 quote
I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Police1 quote
I’m not saying I don’t like police. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m just scared of 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we want to call them too. Somebody broke into my house once. This is a good time to call 'em. But I didn't, I don’t know, mm-mm. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Power as aphrodisiac1 quote
That girl was young, and she made a mistake that young girls make. She wanted to fuck a powerful man. Period. That’s as far as she thought it through. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Power of literature1 quote
Sometimes I think of the books I'll never read that would have changed my life. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Pursuing women1 quote
Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars. Because they know women like nice cars. That’s how it goes. Cause men are hunters. And the car is the bait. And a woman comes up and says: “Ooh, nice Porsche.” “Gotcha, bitch!” — Dave Chappelle · 2000Sadness1 quote
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. — Jonathan Safran Foer · 2005Solving problems1 quote
There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise. — Gore Vidal · 1956