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Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000I’m not saying I don’t like police. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m just scared of 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we want to call them too. Somebody broke into my house once. This is a good time to call 'em. But I didn't, I don’t know, mm-mm. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Chastity1 quote
If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
New white people. You can’t scare these white people. I tried. Roll up on 'em: BOO! "What the hell is wrong with you? Those days are over." — Dave Chappelle · 2000
History1 quote
John F. Kennedy. Remember him? He fucked Marilyn Monroe. Matter of fact, him and his brother Bobby fucked Marilyn Monroe. And history doesn’t talk about that much. You know why history doesn’t talk about that much? Because those two pages in history are stuck together. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
You gotta make life interesting like that cause the shit is flimsy. Life is flimsy. You…you think you’re gonna live, but ain’t nobody gon’ live forever. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
If pussy was a stock, it would be plummeting right now because you’ve flooded the market with it. You’re giving it away too easy. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Police1 quote
I’m not saying I don’t like police. I’m not saying that. I’m saying I’m just scared of 'em. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we want to call them too. Somebody broke into my house once. This is a good time to call 'em. But I didn't, I don’t know, mm-mm. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
That girl was young, and she made a mistake that young girls make. She wanted to fuck a powerful man. Period. That’s as far as she thought it through. — Dave Chappelle · 2000
Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars. Because they know women like nice cars. That’s how it goes. Cause men are hunters. And the car is the bait. And a woman comes up and says: “Ooh, nice Porsche.” “Gotcha, bitch!” — Dave Chappelle · 2000