The Quotes canon
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Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Comedy (stand up)5 quotes
Drug dealers don't sell drugs. Drugs sell themselves. It's crack. It's not an encyclopedia. It's not a fuckin' vacuum cleaner. You don't really gotta try to sell crack, ok? I never heard a crack dealer goin' "Man, how'm I gonna get rid of all this crack?!" — Chris Rock · 1996How about a positive LSD story, that would be newsworthy, don’t you think? Anybody think that? Just once to hear a positive LSD story; “Today a young man on acid…realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves…Here’s Tom with the weather. — Bill Hicks · 1991You could get rid of all the crack, all the herb, all the blow, you know what would happen? People would just think of new ways of getting high. That's right, guys would go in their basement and become scientists, like "Yo check this out, check this out. You know, if you get a baby's bottle, right, fill it up with a little gasoline and a dead lima bean and suck it, you'll be fucked up!" — Chris Rock · 1996I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. — Mitch Hedberg · 1999If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up. — Mitch Hedberg · 1999Autobiography and memoir4 quotes
Thou hast the keys of Paradise, oh just, subtle, and mighty opium. — Thomas De Quincey · 1821That humanity at large will ever be able to dispense with Artificial Paradises seems very unlikely. Most men and women lead lives at the worst so painful, at the best so monotonous, poor and limited that the urge to escape, the longing to transcend themselves if only for a few moments, is and has always been one of the principal appetites of the soul. — Aldous Huxley · 1954A drug is neither moral or immoral-it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary licence to act like an asshole. — Frank Zappa · 1989Cocaine habit-forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I've been using it for years. — Tallulah Bankhead · 1952Comedy drama3 quotes
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchased in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats that you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life...but why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? — Mark Renton · 1996When you're on junk you have only one worry: scoring. When you're off it, you are suddenly obliged to worry about all sorts of other shite. Got no money: can't get pissed. Got money: drinking too much. Can't get a bird: no chance of a ride. Got a bird: too much hassle. You have to worry about bills, about food, about some football team that never fucking wins, about human relationships and all the things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful junk habit. — Mark Renton · 1996Personality, I mean, that's what counts, right? Personality, that's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like heroin. I mean, heroin's got great fucking personality! — Sick Boy · 1996Comedy drama (film)3 quotes
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchased in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats that you've spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life...but why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? — Mark Renton · 1996When you're on junk you have only one worry: scoring. When you're off it, you are suddenly obliged to worry about all sorts of other shite. Got no money: can't get pissed. Got money: drinking too much. Can't get a bird: no chance of a ride. Got a bird: too much hassle. You have to worry about bills, about food, about some football team that never fucking wins, about human relationships and all the things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful junk habit. — Mark Renton · 1996Personality, I mean, that's what counts, right? Personality, that's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like heroin. I mean, heroin's got great fucking personality! — Sick Boy · 1996Crime2 quotes
There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem. — Christopher Moltisanti · 2004Lesson number two: don't get high on your own supply. — Elvira Hancock · 1983Drama2 quotes
There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem. — Christopher Moltisanti · 2004Lesson number two: don't get high on your own supply. — Elvira Hancock · 1983Rock music2 quotes
Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things don't seem the same. — Jimi Hendrix · 1967What a long, strange trip it's been. — The Grateful Dead · 1970Crime (TV)1 quote
There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem. — Christopher Moltisanti · 2004Crime (film)1 quote
Lesson number two: don't get high on your own supply. — Elvira Hancock · 1983Detective fiction1 quote
It is cocaine...a seven-per-cent solution. Would you care to try it? — Arthur Conan Doyle · 1890Drama (TV)1 quote
There’s no chemical solution to a spiritual problem. — Christopher Moltisanti · 2004Drama (film)1 quote
Lesson number two: don't get high on your own supply. — Elvira Hancock · 1983Folk rock1 quote
Mother needs something today to calm her down,
And though she's not really ill,
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter
Of her mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way,
Gets her through her busy day. — The Rolling Stones · 1966Hip hop1 quote
Life's a bitch and then you die
That's why we get high
Cause you never know
When you're gonna go. — Nas · 1994