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Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Comedy (stand up)10 quotes
Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars. Because they know women like nice cars. That’s how it goes. Cause men are hunters. And the car is the bait. And a woman comes up and says: “Ooh, nice Porsche.” “Gotcha, bitch!” — Dave Chappelle · 2000Every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit. He knows the law. If one of us even start to do something wrong, an old black man would pop out of nowhere. Nigga, don’t do that. That’s 5 to 10. — Dave Chappelle · 2000I mean, there could be a black president one day, but…You don’t wanna be the first one. I mean the second or third that's fine, but…that first nigga better watch out. — Dave Chappelle · 2000New white people. You can’t scare these white people. I tried. Roll up on 'em: BOO! "What the hell is wrong with you? Those days are over." — Dave Chappelle · 2000John F. Kennedy. Remember him? He fucked Marilyn Monroe. Matter of fact, him and his brother Bobby fucked Marilyn Monroe. And history doesn’t talk about that much. You know why history doesn’t talk about that much? Because those two pages in history are stuck together. — Dave Chappelle · 2000Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. — Dave Chappelle · 2000All 10 quotes →Autobiography and memoir1 quote
Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one. — Duke Ellington · 1973