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9 quotes

SortEditorial Year Length

Person·Nick Offerman✕clear

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2012

★ 3.8

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2010

★ 3.7

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name, best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2011

★ 3.7

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2009

★ 2.1

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2012

★ 2.1

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2013

★ 2.1

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2014

★ 2.1

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2013

★ 2.0

TV program · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?

Ron Swanson

Parks and Recreation · 2011

★ 1.9

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