The Quotes canon
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Every quote has been curated by hand and carefully authenticated.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Beautiful women1 quote
Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Being in love1 quote
Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before...birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Being true to oneself1 quote
The Dude abides. — The Dude · 1998England and America1 quote
Protecting the safety of the Queen is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Freezing in fear1 quote
Have you ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? And, hey, presto, there's a car nearly on ya. So, what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too fuckin' scared to think—you just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans of running the car over. — Turkish · 2000Gambling1 quote
Because the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes, the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, and then you take the house. — Danny Ocean · 2001Guns1 quote
Guns for show, knives for a pro. — Soap · 1998Hospitality1 quote
Protecting the safety of the Queen is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Infatuation1 quote
Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before...birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Interior design1 quote
That rug really tied the room together, did it not? — Walter Sobchak · 1998Judaism1 quote
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Keeping a low profile1 quote
You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. — Rusty Ryan · 2001Knives1 quote
Guns for show, knives for a pro. — Soap · 1998Living in the past1 quote
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Media1 quote
It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! What is journalism coming to? You're laying on top of the queen with her legs wrapped around you and they call that news. They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair! — Capt. Ed Hocken · 1988Media criticism1 quote
It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! What is journalism coming to? You're laying on top of the queen with her legs wrapped around you and they call that news. They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair! — Capt. Ed Hocken · 1988Monarchy1 quote
Protecting the safety of the Queen is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Narcissism1 quote
Life does not stop and start at your convenience you miserable piece of shit. — Walter Sobchak · 1998Naziism1 quote
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. — Walter Sobchak · 1998Newspapers1 quote
It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! What is journalism coming to? You're laying on top of the queen with her legs wrapped around you and they call that news. They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair! — Capt. Ed Hocken · 1988Nihilism1 quote
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. — Walter Sobchak · 1998Nostalgia1 quote
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Political ideology1 quote
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. — Walter Sobchak · 1998Rule of law1 quote
Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Rules1 quote
Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Sex1 quote
By the way...I faked every orgasm! — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Shooting people1 quote
Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988Taking risks1 quote
When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop. — Barry The Baptist · 1998The past1 quote
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! — Walter Sobchak · 1998Tradition1 quote
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! — Walter Sobchak · 1998