The Quotes canon
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Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Comedy (TV)140 quotes
He’s nice, bit of a close talker. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. — Homer Simpson · 1997You can't believe this woman. She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word she's saying! You're always going "excuse me?", "what was that?" — Jerry Seinfeld · 1993I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. — George Costanza · 1993You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again. That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip-just take one dip and end it. — Timmy · 1993All 140 quotes →Comedy128 quotes
He’s nice, bit of a close talker. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. — Homer Simpson · 1997You can't believe this woman. She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word she's saying! You're always going "excuse me?", "what was that?" — Jerry Seinfeld · 1993I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. — George Costanza · 1993You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again. That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip-just take one dip and end it. — Timmy · 1993All 128 quotes →Sitcom47 quotes
He’s nice, bit of a close talker. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1994You can't believe this woman. She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word she's saying! You're always going "excuse me?", "what was that?" — Jerry Seinfeld · 1993I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. — George Costanza · 1993You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again. That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip-just take one dip and end it. — Timmy · 1993We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that. — Jerry Seinfeld · 1993All 47 quotes →Drama13 quotes
Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they’re just not talking about it or I am completely fucking alone. — Fleabag · 2016I spent most of my adult life using sex to deflect from the screaming void inside my empty heart. — Fleabag · 2019That voice, the one that tells you you're worthless and stupid and ugly…it goes away, right? — Hollyhock · 2017No, I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat. What to like, what to hate, what to rage about, what to listen to, what band to like, what to buy tickets for, what to joke about, what not to joke about. I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, who to love and how to tell them. — Fleabag · 2019Women are born with pain built in. It's our physical destiny. Period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. Men don't. They have to seek it out. — Belinda (Fleabag) · 2019I don’t need another friend, I already have two. — Sam Weir · 2000All 13 quotes →Drama (TV)13 quotes
Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they’re just not talking about it or I am completely fucking alone. — Fleabag · 2016I spent most of my adult life using sex to deflect from the screaming void inside my empty heart. — Fleabag · 2019That voice, the one that tells you you're worthless and stupid and ugly…it goes away, right? — Hollyhock · 2017No, I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat. What to like, what to hate, what to rage about, what to listen to, what band to like, what to buy tickets for, what to joke about, what not to joke about. I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, who to love and how to tell them. — Fleabag · 2019Women are born with pain built in. It's our physical destiny. Period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. Men don't. They have to seek it out. — Belinda (Fleabag) · 2019I don’t need another friend, I already have two. — Sam Weir · 2000All 13 quotes →Romantic comedy9 quotes
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. — Carrie · 2002I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. — Carrie · 2004Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with. — Carrie · 1999After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away. — Carrie · 2002I like my money right where I can see it-hanging in my closet. — Carrie · 2003I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted! Where is he? — Charlotte (Sex and the City) · 2000All 9 quotes →Romantic comedy (TV)9 quotes
Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. — Carrie · 2002I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. — Carrie · 2004Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with. — Carrie · 1999After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away. — Carrie · 2002I like my money right where I can see it-hanging in my closet. — Carrie · 2003I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted! Where is he? — Charlotte (Sex and the City) · 2000All 9 quotes →Coming of age8 quotes
Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day, you’re in diapers; next day, you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house…like a lot of other houses; a yard like a lot of other yards; on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is…after all these years, I still look back…with wonder. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1993Maybe we both realized that growing up doesn’t have to be so much a straight line as a series of advances and retreats. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1988Love is never simple. Not for fathers and sons. We spend our lives full of hope and expectations. And most of the time we are bound to fail. But that afternoon as I watched my father sheltering his son against a future that was so unsure, all I knew was they didn’t want to let each other down anymore. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1992Men and women suffer alone, over the choices they've made. And young boys, full of confusion... Full of fear... Full of love and courage... Grow up stealthily in their sleep. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1988The truth is in 7th grade, who you are is what other 7th graders say you are. The funny thing is it’s hard to remember the names of the kids you spent so much time trying to impress. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1989All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect, who might be searching for us. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1990All 8 quotes →Coming of age (TV)8 quotes
Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day, you’re in diapers; next day, you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house…like a lot of other houses; a yard like a lot of other yards; on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is…after all these years, I still look back…with wonder. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1993Maybe we both realized that growing up doesn’t have to be so much a straight line as a series of advances and retreats. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1988Love is never simple. Not for fathers and sons. We spend our lives full of hope and expectations. And most of the time we are bound to fail. But that afternoon as I watched my father sheltering his son against a future that was so unsure, all I knew was they didn’t want to let each other down anymore. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1992Men and women suffer alone, over the choices they've made. And young boys, full of confusion... Full of fear... Full of love and courage... Grow up stealthily in their sleep. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1988The truth is in 7th grade, who you are is what other 7th graders say you are. The funny thing is it’s hard to remember the names of the kids you spent so much time trying to impress. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1989All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect, who might be searching for us. — Narrator (Adult Kevin Arnold) · 1990All 8 quotes →Sketch comedy1 quote
I said "biiiitch"… — Craig · 2012