Quotes · Skopia

212 quotes

Work7 quotes

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. — Female Temp · 1999 I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. — Hansel · 2001 So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, um, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life. — Peter Gibbons · 1999 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms, and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements! — Peter Gibbons · 1999 I don’t like my job and I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore. — Peter Gibbons · 1999 I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. — Bill Lumbergh · 1999 All 7 quotes →

Love6 quotes

Love...is not a big enough word. It's not a big enough word for how I feel about my wife. — Del Griffith · 1987 Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase? — Wayne Campbell · 1992 I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. — Harry Burns · 1989 Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. — Westley · 1987 I could never find time for love. It's too heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man. Besides, I got the sky, the smell of jet exhaust, my bike. — Topper Harley · 1991 Love, it's a motherfucker, huh? — Waiter · 2003

Christmas4 quotes

There's room for everyone on the nice list. — Buddy · 2003 We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice. — Ralphie Parker · 1983 The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. — Buddy · 2003 Treat every day like Christmas. — Buddy · 2003

Optimism4 quotes

So you’re telling me there’s a chance! — Lloyd Christmas · 1994 Always look on the bright side of life. — Lead Singer Crucifee · 1979 Why, don't you have a dark side? No, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their i's with little hearts. — Harry Burns · 1989 You be positive. I'll be realistic. — Uncle Frank · 1990

Sex4 quotes

By the way...I faked every orgasm! — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988 So, the psychiatrist has a patient, draws a circle, what do you think of when you see this? He says, sex. That's not the joke, wait a second. He draws a picture of a tree, what do you think of when you see it? Sex. He draws a picture of a car, house, sex, sex, sex. The doctor says, you know, you're obsessed with sex. The patient says, well you're the one drawing all the dirty pictures! — Bob Wiley · 1991 Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. — Harry Burns · 1989 Imagine how many people out there right now are fuckin’ man...just goin’ at it. — Ron Slater · 1993

Alienating work3 quotes

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. — Female Temp · 1999 So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, um, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life. — Peter Gibbons · 1999 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms, and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements! — Peter Gibbons · 1999

Anti-imperialism3 quotes

If you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans. — Reg · 1979 Listen, the only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front! — Reg · 1979 All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? — Reg · 1979

Facing one's fears3 quotes

No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions because we are the three amigos! — Dusty Bottoms · 1986 In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face someday. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo! — Lucky Day · 1986 Is this a breakthrough, that I'm a sailor? I sail? I sail now? — Bob Wiley · 1991

Gender relations3 quotes

No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive he always wants to have sex with her. — Harry Burns · 1989 Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. — Harry Burns · 1989 I'm all for that. Especially with women. You know, they may not admit it, but they all want a man to…take charge. Tell them what to do. — Darryl Jenks · 1988

Giving up3 quotes

This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start. — Coach Morris Buttermaker · 1976 Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man? Well, he's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, Miss Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank, ok? And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just give up! — Dewey Finn · 2003 When life gives you lemons, just say "Fuck the lemons," and bail. — Chuck · 2008

Marriage3 quotes

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us together today. Mawage, that blessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam. — The Impressive Clergyman · 1987 Love...is not a big enough word. It's not a big enough word for how I feel about my wife. — Del Griffith · 1987 They always say the key to a solid marriage is laughter. — Mrs. Doubtfire · 1993

Men and women3 quotes

I want a woman that will arouse my intellect as well as my loins. — Prince Akeem · 1988 No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive he always wants to have sex with her. — Harry Burns · 1989 Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you. — El Guapo · 1986

Nature of women3 quotes

Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you. — El Guapo · 1986 Let me tell you a little something I've learned about women. They want you to come get them. They love it. — Garth Algar · 1992 I'm all for that. Especially with women. You know, they may not admit it, but they all want a man to…take charge. Tell them what to do. — Darryl Jenks · 1988

Politics3 quotes

If you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans. — Reg · 1979 Listen, the only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front! — Reg · 1979 Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. — Dennis · 1975

Reputation3 quotes

I'm kind of a big deal...people know me. — Ron Burgundy · 2004 I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. — Ron Burgundy · 2004 I'd rather go to jail than lose my reputation. — Brooke Taylor Windham · 2001

Revenge3 quotes

Hello. My name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. — Inigo Montoya · 1987 We have an old saying in Delta: don't get mad, get even. — Daniel Simpson "D-Day" Day · 1978 You know, it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. — Inigo Montoya · 1987

Shitty jobs3 quotes

Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms, and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements! — Peter Gibbons · 1999 I don’t like my job and I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore. — Peter Gibbons · 1999 I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. — Bill Lumbergh · 1999

True love3 quotes

I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be. — Wayne Campbell · 1992 Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. — Westley · 1987 This is true love. You think this happens every day? — Westley · 1987

Women3 quotes

Alienation2 quotes

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. — Female Temp · 1999 Do you ever wish you that sometimes you could freeze frame a single moment in your day, look at it and say, "this is not my life?" — Daniel Hillard · 1993

America2 quotes

America is great indeed. Imagine a country so free, one can throw glass on the streets! — Prince Akeem · 1988 Hey, guys, one more thing, hey, this summer, when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don’t forget what you’re celebrating, and that’s the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn’t want to pay their taxes. — Ms. Stroud · 1993

Bad luck2 quotes

Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us. — Ralphie Parker · 1983 If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. — Derek Zoolander · 2001

Beatitudes2 quotes

Well, what Jesus fails to appreciate is it's the meek who are the problem. — Reg · 1979 I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers!" — Spectator I · 1979

Beautiful women2 quotes

You’re rather...attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body. — Ty Webb · 1980 Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988

Beauty2 quotes

You’re rather...attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body. — Ty Webb · 1980 Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. — Derek Zoolander · 2001

Being in love2 quotes

Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before...birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights. — Lt. Frank Drebin · 1988 I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. — Harry Burns · 1989

Cats2 quotes

He can't lift the seat, Greg. He lacks the strength in the opposable thumbs. — Jack Byrnes · 2000 You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don't sell out the way dogs do. — Jack Byrnes · 2000

Clothing2 quotes

If I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass. — Happy Gilmore · 1996 Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated. — Elle Woods · 2001

Courage2 quotes

No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions because we are the three amigos! — Dusty Bottoms · 1986 I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer. — Denise · 2008

Dangers of love2 quotes

Love, it's a motherfucker, huh? — Waiter · 2003 That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else. — Jim Baker · 1984

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