The Quotes canon
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Browse all 10,075 quotes or apply filters in different categories to narrow your search.
Lester Burnham4 quotes
Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her. — Lester Burnham · 1999This isn't life! This is just stuff! And it's become more important to you than living! Well, honey, that's just nuts. — Lester Burnham · 1999Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day except one, the day you die. — Lester Burnham · 1999And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. — Lester Burnham · 1999Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper3 quotes
I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. — Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper · 1964Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face? — Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper · 1964It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids, without the knowledge of the individual, certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core commie works. — Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper · 1964Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson2 quotes
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get out hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops, depending on the breaks. — Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson · 1964Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines. — Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson · 1964Jean2 quotes
Everything you touch turns to shit, like King Midas's idiot brother. — Jean · 2013You know you don't want to go anywhere, and that's why the same shit is going to keep happening to you, because you want it to. — Jean · 2013President Merkin Muffley2 quotes
You're talking about mass murder, General, not war! — President Merkin Muffley · 1964Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! — President Merkin Muffley · 1964Ricky Fitts2 quotes
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in. — Ricky Fitts · 1999Never underestimate the power of denial. — Ricky Fitts · 1999Buddy Kane1 quote
Call me crazy, but it is my philosophy that in order to be successful, one must project an image of success, at all times. — Buddy Kane · 1999Dr. Strangelove1 quote
Deterrence is the art of producing, in the mind of the enemy…the fear to attack! — Dr. Strangelove · 1964Jim McAllister1 quote
Tracy, you're a very intelligent girl. You have a lot of admirable qualities. But one day maybe you'll learn that being smart and doing whatever you need to do to get ahead, and yet stepping on other people to get there... Well, there's a whole lot more to life than that, and in the end, you're only cheating yourself. — Jim McAllister · 1999Leo Bloom1 quote
I'm hysterical! I'm having hysterics. I'm hysterical. I can't stop when I get like this. I can't stop. I'm hysterical. — Leo Bloom · 1967Max Bialystock1 quote
Shut up, I'm having a rhetorical conversation. — Max Bialystock · 1967Tracy Flick1 quote
You see, I believe in the voters. They understand that elections aren't just popularity contests. They know this country was built by people just like me who work very hard and don't have everything handed to them on a silver spoon. — Tracy Flick · 1999