The Quotes canon

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Breakfast2 quotes
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food. — Ron Swanson · 2014Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand? — Ron Swanson · 2011
Food2 quotes
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food. — Ron Swanson · 2014Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand? — Ron Swanson · 2011
I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. — Ron Swanson · 2010
Cats1 quote
Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. — Ron Swanson · 2013
Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. — Ron Swanson · 2013
Dogs1 quote
Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. — Ron Swanson · 2013
Eating1 quote
I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. — Ron Swanson · 2010
Focus1 quote
Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing. — Ron Swanson · 2012
Friendship1 quote
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name, best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. — Ron Swanson · 2011
Love1 quote
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living? — Ron Swanson · 2009
Lying1 quote
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk. — Ron Swanson · 2013
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name, best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. — Ron Swanson · 2011
Milk1 quote
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk. — Ron Swanson · 2013
If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. — Ron Swanson · 2012
Parties1 quote
If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. — Ron Swanson · 2012
Pets1 quote
Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. — Ron Swanson · 2013
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living? — Ron Swanson · 2009
Sadness1 quote
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food. — Ron Swanson · 2014
Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing. — Ron Swanson · 2012