Quotes · Skopia

373 quotes

The Big Lebowski · 1998

★ 1.1

Comedy (play) · Comedy

Oh, what a dear ravishing thing is the beginning of an Amour!

Aphra Behn

The Emperor of the Moon · 1687

★ 1.2

Opera · Comedy

It is, it is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.

W.S. Gilbert

1879

★ 1.2

Standup comedy · Comedy

You know how old people drive? They drive slow, they sit low. That is their motto. The state flag of Florida should be just a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it.

Jerry Seinfeld

1998

★ 1.2

TV program · Sitcom · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.

Jerry Seinfeld

Seinfeld · 1991

★ 1.3

TV program · Sitcom · Comedy (TV) · Comedy

It's ironic... That we've come all this way, we made all this progress, but you know, we lost the little things, the niceties.

Elaine Benes

Seinfeld · 1992

★ 1.3

Play · Comedy (play) · Comedy

True, 'tis an unhappy circumstance of life that love should ever die before us, and that the Man so often should outlive the Lover. But say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved.

William Congreve

The Way of the World · 1700

★ 1.8

Film · Comedy (film) · Comedy

We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

Bob Slydell

Office Space · 1999

★ 1.8

TV program · Drama (TV) · Comedy (TV) · Drama · Comedy

The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't to search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.

Mr. Peanutbutter

Bojack Horseman · 2014

★ 1.8

Play · Comedy (play) · Comedy

No man worth having is true to his wife, or can be true to his wife, or ever was, or ever will be so.

Sir John Vanbrugh

The Relapse · 1696

★ 1.9

Play · Comedy (play) · Comedy of manners · Comedy

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.

Noel Coward

Private Lives · 1930

★ 1.9

Play · Comedy (play) · Comedy

My advice to you is not to inquire into why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate-that's my philosophy.

Thornton Wilder

1942

★ 1.9

Film · Comedy (film) · Western (film) · Comedy · Western

My mind is a raging torrent flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

Hedley Lamarr

Blazing Saddles · 1974

★ 1.9

Film · Comedy (film) · Comedy

I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I’m a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood’s gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! “You’re cured, mate.” Bloody do-gooder.

Ex-Leper

Monty Python's Life of Brian · 1979

★ 1.9

Film · Comedy (film) · Comedy

I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen and all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Ty Webb

Caddyshack · 1980

★ 1.9

Film · Christmas movie · Comedy (film) · Christmas · Comedy

It was all over—I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Mmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.

Ralphie Parker

A Christmas Story · 1983

★ 1.9

Film · Christmas movie · Comedy (film) · Christmas · Comedy

Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

Ralphie Parker

A Christmas Story · 1983

★ 1.9

Film · Coming of age (film) · Comedy (film) · Coming of age · Comedy

That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else.

Jim Baker

Sixteen Candles · 1984

★ 1.9

Film · Road movie · Comedy (film) · Comedy

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Del Griffith

Planes, Trains and Automobiles · 1987

★ 1.9

Film · Comedy (film) · Comedy

You know, I started out on clean up, just like you guys. But now…see, I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries; then the grill. A year or two, I make assistant manager, and that’s where the big bucks start rollin' in.

Maurice

Coming to America · 1988

★ 1.9

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